I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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