We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
