had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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