Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
