i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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