Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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