u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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