i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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