dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
