As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
Randomize
