well I can't set my house on fire every night
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
