New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
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