He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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