paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
