in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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