If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
