Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
