She's like a pop up book from hell.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I party with great urgency now.
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