scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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