Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
