so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
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