peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Randomize
