The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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