i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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