so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
