Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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