How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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