Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
