This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
