i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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