we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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