I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
