Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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