There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Drunk is not a location!
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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