when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The best revenge is premature balding
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
