Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
