its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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