Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
