I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
