I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
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