he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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