Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
