my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
