its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
