Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
