matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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