so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Randomize
