i jhust puked up my retainher.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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