You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
