Whod you bang
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
my shit smells like andre
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
