i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
