Actions speak louder than pants.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I licked your asshole in confidence.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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